I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
