note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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