New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
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