i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I need water and some morals
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
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