Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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