i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Randomize
