I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize