the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
A bitchslap is in order.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
