He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
