Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
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