What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Too much gin, very little bucket
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
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