i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
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