i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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