The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
