Grow some girl-balls and come out already
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
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