I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
