So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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