We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize
