Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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