You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
