You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
