after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
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