There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
