You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
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