I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Randomize
