So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
