Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
He kissed a someone with a penis
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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