So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
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