Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Did you pee in the oven last night??
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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