I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
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