ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize