lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
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