Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize