'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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