Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
tell me about the fingering
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
