I think scott just propositioned me for sex
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
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