i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
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