Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Randomize