I could have mohawked her pubes.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
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