it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Randomize
