I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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