...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
