Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
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