Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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