that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Randomize
