She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
