eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
