just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
