oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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