Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Randomize