yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
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