Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
