Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize