im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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