i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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