Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
