...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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