i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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