Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
