Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Just puked most of my soul out..
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
