Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Randomize
