Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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