i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Randomize
