Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
