I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
