Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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