Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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