I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Randomize
