If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
