Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
