peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
