this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Randomize
