There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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