You're completely useless in the revolution.
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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