Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
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