so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
