I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize
