Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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