only if we run a train.
done.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
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