You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Randomize
