I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize
